Never needed you to be a part of my life

Jul. 29th, 2005 at 5:55 PM

The masses are confused, and the public is asking the same question in unison:
“Chris, where have you been? You haven’t updated in for-ever!! What’s the deal??!”

Well minions, haters, skanks, bad asses, swangas, losers, pre-teens, old nigs, friends, and relations…I'm here now to tell you a tale that could ne’er be told elsewhere. A tale of mechanical floatation devices, a tale of dead animal over an open flame, a tale of a place between here and Mexico. Uncharted on all maps, but nay, it does exist. A land so you can see for miles in all directions, so barren that not a human sole inhabits the place. (Mexicans don’t count as humans) This is a tale not for the weak at heart, the non-manly, or the un-adventurous. This is a tale about life, living, death, and dying. A tale about an adventure, an excursion, an escapade, a journey, a trek, a trip, a quest, a sabbatical from the real world. Yes…a trip to the land where no man can live, where the sun burns your soul, the water turns your insides to iron and the natives don’t speak your language. This is a story about Mathis, Texas.

28°5'39" North, 97°49'38" West. Those were the coordinates which held our destination. We started out with 7 people, we would return with 2. We went with the promise of water, shelter, motorized raft, rations, and good times. All were to be had, but at a cost few men would pay. We reached our living quarters at 1 AM Wednesday morning. The first battle which would result in casualties started when the doors to the house opened. A company of bugs, mostly infantry roaches put up a fight. None were captured or taken as prisoners. Moments after it began, we were burning their carcasses. That night no man slept well, for Nicolas had a paper mill in his butt, and the smell was inescapable. Noxious gasses threatened to kill us. Thankfully we lived, despite the discomfort to the nasal passages.
The next day we boarded the mechanical fish and set sail on the body of water near by. A lake, known for it’s water based reptilian keepers, the alligator people. The waters were dark green, and visibility was poor. You could see no further than 3 inches in the murky water. What was beneath any given 3 inches was anyone’s best guess. Treasure, man eating beasts, perhaps mermaids or underwater prostitutes…we didn’t know, but by George we were there to find out.
We set sail with two mechanical fish and a larger vessel filled with equipment. Behind some of the watercraft was a tube, or board. People would ride in them, and that seemed to cause the most damage. So many flips and crashes will take their toll, and one by one the original crew dropped like a 2 dollar whores pants. The day was about over, everyone still alive but badly beaten. We were navigating the large vessel to port, when from the black abyss jumped an alligator of monster proportions. He was at least 90 furlongs in length, had crimson stained teeth, a telephone pole sticking out of his neck, and a regulation size basketball court on his side. He jumped completely over our humble ship, breaking the pirate sail. Then he returned to the waters as quickly as he appeared. Everyone was alive, so we turned the rudder to point us home, and we speedily headed there.

The next morning creatures from the moon came early and took away everyone but me and zeek, so we came home. End of story.
Just got tired of telling the story, to be honest. And also, while we’re being honest, I gotta say that maybe 1% of that story was true…you can fill in the gaps though.

The truth- Travis, Nick, Nicks brother and cousin, Kai, Zeak and myself went to a lake house on corpus Christi lake and had good times. They are still there right now, I came home today to do something secretive.

As always, it was good to get away, but just the same it’s good to be back in good ole San Marvelous. Cant help but love this place, cant help it.
I ruined my good camera in a water related accident, but I’ll see if I can salvage pics here when I'm done with the textual stuff.

It’s funny how people think they can run from their problems. Funny how people think they can find a resolution in relocation, when really they are going out of the frying pan and in to the fire. It’s funny mostly in the matter-of-factness…and the presumption of their own innocence. As in they’re convinced that a change in geographical coordinates will rid them of problems, troubles, or drama of which they prior to had no part of, as they were just an innocent bystander, victim of circumstance, unjustly subject to the cold callus emotionless side of the world. I say “funny” instead of “absurdly retarded and hypocritical” because I got bills to pay, son.. I got obligations, responsibilities, payments, and stuff to do, which leaves no time for remorse, concern, guilt, regret, compassion, absolution or charity. Anyway…just a bit of a tangent. If you’re running away from problems or situations, don’t run my way lest you want to get smacked.

Yeah, it’s nice to be back. For a bit…college station trip is on deck.

My new bed stuff is here. Don’t know if I mentioned it…feather bed, down comforter, feather pillows, Egyptian cotton jersey sheets….yeah, it’s raw.

F it, I'm goin to eat a pastry.

Kai trying to hold on at 30 mph